This is the first time I consider holidays as holidays. I enjoy working. I enjoy going for a jog whenever I am free, return home for a shower and lie on bed to finish books I borrowed. I enjoy the moment now because I am doing something I like. I enjoy not seeing people I dont want to see. I enjoy being stress free; but it's ending soon.
I became very defensive and protective towards myself as I grow up. I dont like to tell people the reason of me doing certain thing. I dont like people who question to question my decision. I hate even more when some people like to comment their opinons on things I did, decision I made. Hey, I am the one going through this path. Your time has passed. You are not my parents, frens,lecturers or colleagues. If you are out of the circle of the 4 grps of people I mention. Kindly juz ignore me. I dont want to listen and start feeling that I really made the wrong decision (psycho-ed by your words)which eventually failure in the end. Stop it.
I began to long for personal time for myself more. I want to be alone sometime not because I am feeling down but I enjoy the process of going through many things in mind alone. Actually I talk less nowadays but many times I tried to continue the conversation, tried to 'retain' the image I imposed on people's mind which is a very hard thing for me to do. If I dont talk, people thought that something is troubling me which in fact it is not.
I have changed. Do more, talk less. I couldnt continue that previous character of mine to the future, in life and in work. I find that it is an approriate time for me to make the transtition now. Of course I'll play hard when it's time, just like H6F penang trip.
Juz dont be surprised by my change.
I have to.
For the sake of my future and myself.
posted by liting @ 8:18 pm
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