My ears have been very itchy for the past few days. Normally this is a sign of a quarrel is going to start or I am going to get a scolding from someone. Say I am supersitious but normally it is really a sign hinting me to be careful. The first person who come to my mind is my mum because she is always the popular candidate to be listed in these kind of situations. Strangely, mum and I have been getting quite along quite well and it left me puzzled why.
Then....it came true today. I didnt quarrel with anyone but in fact i got a scolding from someone (not mum). Perhaps i should use the word 'We got scolding from someone'. YL suggested asking him if we can take a look at our test paper, he agreed readily and there we go;the 4 of us we walked straight into the lion's mouth this afternoon.
I was the first person to take a look of my paper. The first thing he said gave me a shock. He said as if I am the only two who failed very badly. Look at the histogram and the Gaussian distribution done by him. Damn it. I got 56. We didnt do quite well for it so all was kene lectured for more than 1/2 hr hearing all kinds of demoralising things from him. Thank you so much. Saying that we assumed we understand in fact we dont, saying we are behaving like communist who dont want to broaden our 'study grp' which seems to imply that we are not sociable. Personally I feel we are more sociable than you know who,saying that if this goes on, we will FAIL the exam. He was praising 'THOSE PPL' so well...those i mean. I guess it was a threaten sentence to me. It's not that we are lazy, we didnt study and we dont care. We tried our best and juz like what I told GHH last nite in msn. I am losing confidence too, not to the extend of giving up but feeling demoralised and lost.
We being the unlucky ones, are the first batch taking this new 2nd part of this module. I pity more on Herman, my tutor who is currently a PHD student. He is also learning the same stuff as we do and he has to understand better, faster than us in order to teach us. He get scolding too. Even he admits that this 2nd part was kinda tough.
Of course it had a impact on us. Firstly we couldnt understand his lecture, let alone his tutorials. Luckily we still have Herman teaching better than him. Secondly he is hard to approach (imagine we ponder for awhile before his door), thirdly being guinea pigs, we have no seniors to seek help for. But we never give up, we take the effort to photocopy textbook and read up too. I cant deny having scoring badly for the test and hearing demoralising words actually makes us feel very DEMORALISED.
I know very well there are all kinds of people in the world. There are people like him too. I will learn to tolerate such people because I know there are more of this kind in the working society.
I wont give up either. I will prove you wrong. YOU WAIT THERE.
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