You looked down on my family because we are poor. You said nasty things to ah ma. You sent her to the old folks home when she got stroke. You asked why she haven die.You once said that my father is only capable to live in a one room flat.
3 years ago, we no longer keep in touch. We no longer visit you all during CNY. I hate you for looking down on us. I hate you for being so heartless to ah ma. I told myself I wanted to get into local uni and show you that being poor doesnt mean we wont succeed.
Since then, I was never interested about any news on you.
Recently we heard that you got minor stroke. I was still thinking that it's time for you to know how much ah ma has suffered and perhaps you will understand the wrong things you did and turn over a new leaf. Then, one night I was thinking deep and I realised I wasnt happy to know that you got your 'so-call' retribution. All i want is to have you recover but still wont want to keep in touch for those misunderstandings. I was juz a child then and you all adults dragged me into pic juz bcos ah ma dotes me most ( where by I am juz the grandaughter of ah ma's adopted daughter).
Last nite at 11 pm plus, my mum got a call saying that you passed away at 7+ in the evening. I was sitting in front of my computer, overhearding the conversation and got into a daze. My mum intend to visit you this morning in the hospital. And now you are gone..I never wanted you to die. I really never. My hatred for you has gone that night...deep down in me was praying hard that you will recover.
Blame it on the doctor or what?
The doc say there is blood clot in your brain and wanted to do a brain surgery for you. During the operation, you are diagnosed with leukemia and was in ICU these few days. Then you are gone suddenly like that.
My mum went to attend the funeral this morning. She never shed a tear for her biological father when ah gong passed away but she told me she cried when she saw your pic. She was choking with tears when she told me about that. You are juz a half-brother to my mum. My mum is juz an adopted sister of yours. No matter how many misunderstandings you guys have for my mum, she all took it down and felt so upset over your death. Though my mum always say nasty things but she has a kind heart deep down. She always teaches me to be kind.
I dont want you to die. I nv want you to die. Why you juz wont give me a chance to prove myself?
I couldnt pay my last respect to you as I have no passport to go to msia. I wanted to tell you so much that I actually forgave you few days back.
3 years I have nv address you again.
Now I would like to say..
'Uncle, I really forgave you. But you are gone just like that.'
You are gone now and your wife voiced out she wont be meddling about ah ma in old folk home. It's ok. I will help my parents to share the burden because ah ma belongs to me too regardless of anything.
Why would things happened at such time.
Felt so tired but I have to move on.
There are dark clouds now..
I dont know when will the rain come and stop..
But i will be waiting for the rainbow bravely.
posted by liting @ 9:56 pm
<< Home