I have been very busy recently.CUI (Corrosion Under Insulation) is handed to me and this project will be lauched very soon. I have started doing the preparation works, having discussions with Lily,Ony and inspector manager, attending inspection team meetings, finding isometric drawings for pipelines, sorting out various pipes and equipments. I almost cant breathe. I threw my whole heart and soul into it. I always think that the reason why I so 'pia' is because I wanted to prove my capability. I guess I am wrong. Imagine the company hand u such a big project to u- juz an IA student. U plan, U do, U work out with other people and U watch the progress of the project being carried out. It was a sense of achievement. Slowly I began to realise I threw my heart and soul not just because I want to prove myself but I like the work, I like my CUI team. Be it Lily or Ony who are always there to help me during the project, be it the inspector manager who smile at me and ask how's my progress..somehow I felt I became part of them. It was more glad for me when they include me in their discussions and I have a part to share too.
Today i was so busy till I didnt have the time for lunch. Equipments list need to be sorted out by me by 1.30pm and I got to attend the meeting at 1.30 pm. The original list was a real big headache to me. Ony offered to help but I declined politely...I feel that it's my job to finish everything but I appreciate his offer greatly. Today was the first time i attend team meeting. Feel kinda weird but it was a nice experience afterall. I will be visting site next week and by this weekend I muz master how to ride a bicycle PROPERLY...
After meeting, Ony passed me few files to put the isometric drawings. Was discussing with him about one super unit 's isometric super difficult to find. In the end both of us ended up searching every isometric drawings in 4 vols of files one by one. Though not all we can find but at least we found some. I juz hope to finish finding all the drawings before I leave Seraya(which is impossible..still got thousands of pipelines to search) and my successor (which Ony claims) can continue my work from where I stop. It's not easy to find it all fast and accurate. I just want to do things nicely so that my successor-to-be wont be having a difficult time for CUI..and same for Ony too, he's also new to seraya and have been a nice colleague guiding and helping me..I dont want to create more burden for him even when I am gone cos CUI will be handed to him after Lily guide me in the beginning.
I cant bear to leave this project when My IA ends. I even thinking of not going back to study next sem because I wanted to see the project moving on..but sadly it is a long term project. Everytime once i reached home, I am thinking about the project again, thinking how I am suppose to do the next day etc etc..I am thinking till the kind that I dont know what I am doing...till I feel I lost the focus of my life.I dont seems to find back the root of why I am doing certain things..This feeling juz comes and goes...
Today I met up with phoebe,cody and shu mei for dinner at Bukit Batok...so we jio Goh come out..we chatted awhile and goh said something about the cptc grade and IA thing, I think for a moment about those matters. The more I think, the more I lost my focus. All I know now is if Study study...if work work..I couldnt find the reason for doing so anymore. Goh didnt stay for long and went back to coach Yi Fan. We hang ard at West Mall Still and I got calls from Goh..he jio us to play arcade games. We play along but I m not those who can play games well one...game idiot i call myself. But somehow I realise playing the games ..that few moments I could draw myself out of the reality and play, though not good at all but I felt better when playing. But once game ended, I am thrown back to reality again. That's why I jio U guys for the games again next friday. I need to get out from reality once in a while.
Can you imagine even now I am blogging ...I am thinking about next week what I am suppose to do...it can be quite scary to be lidad sometimes...
but...
where is my focus of my life?
I lost it....myself..
posted by liting @ 10:57 pm
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